Surrender

i woke up this morning in such pain and sadness still!  i barely slept last night, the sadness kept waking me up to say yep, this is sadness, then the sound of the wreck would play over and over, then the mind processing the whole event....was is my fault, his fault, why did this happen????

i have to remember that i am not alone in this, car wrecks happen everyday.  we are super lucky to have walked away, and life will go on.    

maybe i am not ready to leave my house.  maybe i am not meant to go to Living Light right now.  is this what had to happen to slow me down?

therefor i surrender.  i am surrendering to the place in me that knows more.  the Light, the Love the Greater Forces at work in the bigger picture.  i can say God and that feels real too.  i have faith.  i am doing my best to accept the truth of this and move along and not get stuck.

last night while i was laying in bed feeling all the physical pain a book beside my bed that i have been wanting to read for a couple of months now spoke to me..."You can Heal your life" by Louise Hay.  How appropriate at a this moment.  so i began to read it and truly the pages spoke to me.  the art work followed.  such a beautiful inspiring book.  one of the most beautiful i have ever read.  

the thing that really stuck with me she said.... the hardest thing for me to do and how much i resist it, then i am looking at the greatest lesson at that moment. Surrendering, giving up the resistance, and allowing myself to learn what it is i need to learn will make the next step easier.  don't let resistance stop me from making the changes.  observe, watch myself resist, and then go ahead anyway.